Poems – alan burdett . blog

#8

#8, Magic pen annoyance Chpt 3, 24th June 2026.

#5

“#5”, Magic pen Chpt 2, thirty seven minutes, 12th April 24.

Another 10 mins.

HOME

You know those beautiful moments you have when your whole body gets goose bumps and for a short time you’re immersed in joy…

Just an hour ago I was on the way back from Canvey Island on the bus on a very familiar and scenic route home. I spent so much of my childhood on Canvey for the beach, or the old fair, boy Scouts (which is called Beavers when you’re young), the Yacht club and my dads boat. The new buses have giant windows, it’s like a fish-bowl on wheels. In the distance I could see Essex country park stretching along the Thames Estuary (which is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful Estuaries in the world, John Constable use to paint it), in the foreground there were the masts of boats, flowers and loads of birds on the RSPB grounds. BOOM the goose bumps hit me like a warm wave of water, I was in an oragasm of nostalgia. For the first time since leaving for university in the year 2000 I KNEW I was home. I pictured my feet in the soft grassy ground and I was so happy, I think this is what you call Grace.

I am home, and though I know I will be off travelling around the world one day this WILL ALWAYS be my home, with my family and my friends and I will always return here because it is where my heart is.

The unknown

When nature shows me a physical doorway into darkness I do not need to think twice about whether or not to enter. My heart pounds, my face resembles the Cheshire cat and before I know it i’m lost in darkness, climbing over rocks and soaking up the sensations, smells, sounds and vibrations. The darkness absorbs me as I stand in the same place an ancient ancestor may of stood. All time is lost, all past and future is erased, I have no age but feel like a child with no fear. For that moment I belong right there, when the world began and when the universe ends, holding hands with my ancient ancestor listening to the incomprehensible silence. Tiny hairs stand on end, the cool air caresses my skin, I can taste the Earth in my mouth, moisture droplets run alive around me. “I cannot stay, I must return”. I turn around, and there in the distance is daylight, daylight I left millenia ago, the closer I get to the light the faster the connection fades, I notice the ticking of my watch, which I did not hear in the echo of the cave. Before I know it i’m back, back into the organised chaos and our obsession with time. Stood out in the day, with all the endless noises and people, I suddenly feel so grateful, because without the light of day I could never truly appreciate that cave for what it really is.